The Other Side of the Coin

As LDS parents, we have experienced the feelings of emptiness and concern involved with sending children on missions, as well as the joy and excitement associated with seeing them return to our home and family.  Now however, we are on "the other side of the coin" experiencing the thrill of seeing those young men and women arrive in our Jamaican mission family as well as experiencing the emptiness and concern as they leave to return to their parents and family at home. 

The mission experience is a parallel example of our earthly experience. By that I mean, that leaving our heavenly parents and coming to earth parallels the experience of leaving our earthly family and going on a mission.  The missionaries even call their arrival day as the day they were "born" and describe themselves as getting "old" and  "dying" when they complete their service.

Yesterday completed the two year period for five of our missionaries even though only three went home on that day.  This would have been the completion date for Elder Walker's mission if not for his tragic death and the fifth elder was sent home early as a result of severe disobedience that resulted in a church court and disciplinary action. I'm sure you can understand that the wide variety of circumstances in which these 5 young men left their missions has resulted in a very wide range of emotions for us, however, that is not the topic of this blog. 

The contrast in their circumstances does not end with how they served their missions or how their missions were completed but includes what they were returning to -  again "the other side of the coin".  Let me describe the scenario of the three elders who returned home yesterday.

Elder Talbert's last day in May Pen

At 5:30 a.m., President Hendricks put Elder Talbert on a plane to the U.S.  When Elder Talbert arrived home in the late evening he would be greeted by family and friends in a homecoming scenario that is familiar to many of us. Currently his primary concern is whether to register late for the spring semester of college or wait until summer to begin his educational pursuits.
 
The president then returned to the mission home and loaded-up Elder Lee and Elder Allen, two of our Jamaican elders, to drive them home at the conclusion of their missions.  I had asked the president if I could accompany them as I needed to pick-up some computer equipment in Lucea and I would drive the nine hours round trip so he could have a break.  He readily agreed so I got to travel "home" with the two elders.   Here their homecoming stories deviate from Elder Talbert's and the returning missionary scenario with which you are probably familiar.

Elder Lee at May Pen Burger King

Elder Lee was converted to the church about four years ago.  He was disowned by his family for his decision and lived with friends until he was called on his mission.  His mission is about the only security he has known and he truly had nowhere to go following his mission.  Because of his life situation, Elder Lee did not graduate from high school and his current proficiency in reading was attained on his mission under the tutelage of his companions.  His worldly possessions were entirely contained in the two suitcases that he loaded in the president's vehicle yesterday morning.  His concerns upon returning from his mission were: 1. - where is home, and 2. - how do I survive with my only resource being the few coins in my pocket.

Elder Allen delivering a spiritual thought at dinner in Kingston

We have been associated with Elder Allen for most of our mission.  He was in Mandeville when we arrived in the mission and also served in our branch in Kingston.  He (along with Elder Talbert) were Assistants to the President and so we had frequent contact with him over the past 11 months.  Elder Allen is returning to Montego Bay to live in an upstairs portion of his grandmother's home since his mother (who is a member of the church) currently lives in NYC  where she works cleaning a nursing home.  I suppose that he will have some financial support from his mother and grandmother but it will be meager at best.  He had worked as a chef at one of the resort hotels prior to his mission earning approximately $1.60 per hour, and has hopes of finding similar work and eventually returning to Kingston to go to school. 

Elder Allen invited Elder Lee to live with him for a while, which will give the two of them a support system both in the church and in getting established in the real world of Jamaica.  I gave the two of them a little money as we departed - it wasn't much but would have been the equivalent of one and a half days wage at Elder Allen's former job.  Elder Allen has a girl friend that is currently going to school in Kingston and he is anxious to get back to Kingston to take her to a dinner the YSA is having next Saturday.  I told him he could use the money for bus fare to the dance if he didn't need it for other necessities - such as food.  He smiled and said, "I can miss a lot of food to get to go to the party!"

Elder and Sister Anderson, our CES couple, will visit with these two elders next week to talk about PEF (Perpetual Education Fund).  However Elder Lee is currently not a candidate unless he can get some kind of high school equivalent certificate.


As we rode together we talked a great deal about the future and what could be ahead for them.  With Elder Lee we tried to correlate his feelings of uncertainty in going on a mission with his current feelings as he now faces a new chapter in his life and how he has overcome many obstacles in his mission and how he would be able to do the same now.  We had a wonderful time together and I am grateful for this experience I had with them.  I hope that I was able to help them in some small way both monetarily and emotionally and that we might be able to provide additional help in the future.  They are wonderful young men who have served well and prospered in their missionary service, but they are also young men whose "other side of the coin" is not as shiny and bright as the returning missionaries with whom you are familiar.